June 2012
2 posts
May 2012
6 posts
“Previous seasons of the show required contestants to travel to Los Angeles for...”
– there is less than a 0% chance in hell that I’m going to watch The Bachelorette this year, but you better believe I will read Erin Gloria Ryan’s recaps of each episode while clutching my face and crying. Which is sort of the same thing, in the end.
1 tag
2 tags
Can we just go ahead and put an indefinite moratorium on Old Men Being Sad About Things in movies? Old men being sad about being old, old men being sad while wearing bow ties, old men being sad and reminiscing about things, old men being sad and having wispy, see-through hair….all of it. It serves no purpose other than to make me cry at 3:23am. No purpose.
I will give you sick children and...
April 2012
3 posts
“When I split an infinitive, God damn it, I split it so it will stay split, and...”
– Raymond Chandler
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“When she was ready to return to San Francisco, Mr. Pardo gave her a...”
– seriously.
March 2012
3 posts
February 2012
2 posts
fair warning
I’m about to post stuff that is less Fabulous Art and a lot more Insufferable Anecdotes About My World Traveling so if you’re grossed out by that kind of shit like I am, beware. I hate other people’s experiences (unless they’re rap narratives about smoking weed in outer space, yo Curren$y I’m hollering at you, boy. Love your new shit.) So feel free to clear your...
Watch—sam taylor wood
January 2012
1 post
December 2011
1 post
November 2011
1 post
October 2011
3 posts
From the Princeton Alumni Newsletter, Fall 2011
After completing her seventh triathlon using a bike she welded from titanium she mined, riding on a course she designed and paved using gold she carried flake by flake from mines she discovered with her eyes closed, swimming in a wetsuit made from seals she skinned by hand and stitched together using thread she wove from her own luxurious hair, three-time MacArthur Genius Grant recipient Maxine...
August 2011
2 posts
July 2011
1 post
“The rapper’s attorney Salvatore Strazzulo told NBC News that if the case...”
– Foxy Brown, the founding father of bad bitches. This chick hit on my boyfriend HARD in a bleak-looking Rasta restaurant once, and I honestly count that moment as the one where I knew I’d snagged me a good one. Foxy Brown approves of my big weird white dude, I can quit the game, go home, put my...
June 2011
3 posts
I wrote about my dating life for Low Log. →
May 2011
7 posts
2 tags
Relationship Ephiphanies
I just realized that my following this blog is the equivalent of my boyfriend’s choice to follow like 20 tumblrs dedicated to bubble-butts.
Moment of [too sad to post?] clarity.
"Our principal announced we were to evacuate the... →
“What I really want to stress is there’s no need for panic.”
– Reginald Zimmerman, spokesman for the Executive Office of Energy and Environmental Affairs, on the SEVENTEEN-FOOT-LONG GREAT WHITE SHARK spotted off Martha’s Vineyard today.
April 2011
9 posts
2 tags
“Animal lovers should stop calling their furry or feathered friends ‘pets’ because the term is insulting, leading academics claim. Domestic dogs, cats, hamsters or budgerigars should be rebranded as ‘companion animals’ while owners should be known as ‘human carers’…Even terms such as ‘wildlife’ are dismissed as insulting to the animals...
On the pervasive nature of disordered eating...
Young girl in flame-painted bra and booty-shorts, carrying an enormous battle axe: God, I am like, so hungry. Can you hold my axe? I’m going to get a bagel.
Young girl wearing striped knee socks, black underwear, belt made of bullets and neon pink sea-anemone-looking wig: Yeah, totally. Can you get me something? I haven’t eaten since Tuesday.
Battle axe: I know, right? I haven’t eaten in like 5...
2 tags
March 2011
2 posts
February 2011
6 posts
1 tag
A very personal blog post.
Today I made another tumblr. And it’s something that has, in a very short time, become very close to my heart. I think that each of us has something twisted and embarrassing inside of us that, nevertheless, we secretly love and want people to know about. For some people it’s about eating in the middle of the night while crying. For other people it’s being attracted to people who...