November 26, 2009

And Still It Comes

like a downhill brakes-burned freight train

full of pig iron ingots, full of lead

life-size statues of Richard Nixon,

like an avalanche of smoke and black fog

lashed by bent pins, the broken-off tips

of switchblade knives, the dust of dried offal,

remorseless, it comes, faster when you turn your back,

faster when you turn to face it,

like a fine rain, then colder showers,

then downpour to razor sleet, then egg-size hail,

fist-size, then jagged

laser, shrapnel hail

thudding and tearing like footsteps

of drunk gods or fathers; it comes

polite, loutish, assured, suave,

breathing through its mouth

(which is a hole eaten by a cave),

it comes like an elephant annoyed,

like a black mamba terrified, it slides

down the valley, grease on grease,

like fire eating birds’ nests,

like fire melting the fuzz

off a baby’s skull, still it comes: mute

and gorging, never

to cease, insatiable, gorging

and mute.

—thomas lux

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November 25, 2009
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

R. Kelly feat. a bunch of people, including Tyrese, wtf?—“Pregnant”

In celebration of FINALLY having iTunes again, I literally cannot find a better song to share with you guys because it is the season of giving, and oh do I have a gift for you, THE MOTHER OF ALL GIFTS.

The lyrics to this song are remarkably perfect for Thanksgiving because they keep giving, and giving, and you are so thankful you can’t breathe and then suddenly you feel sick and have to lie down in the middle of the living room.

R. Kelly is thirsty for some booty, and he wants to Knock You Up And Get You Pregnant. Then Robin Thicke comes in and says that he “don’t see nothing wrong with having a kid”..? But guarantees you that the rest of your life will be man-drama free, provided that you choose him, which is a solid investment. And then just as fast, The Dream lets us know that for 30-some weeks, he’s still going to hit it. Which…is nice? Then Kelly is back, and he wants to explore your secret garden and here you go, you feel sick, oh god where is the floor.

Girl you make me wanna get you pregnant
Lay your body down and get you pregnant (knock you up)
Pregnant (knock you uuup)

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November 24, 2009
Tip gives good advice and 50 gets Hulky? Duh.

Tip gives good advice and 50 gets Hulky? Duh.

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anecho:

To: durga and max. When in another country without you, this is who i’m left with. Help!

Ladies and gentlemen, for one night only: Tait Foster.
Tip your waitress!

anecho:

To: durga and max. When in another country without you, this is who i’m left with. Help!

Ladies and gentlemen, for one night only: Tait Foster.

Tip your waitress!

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Every time I read that someone has spoken badly of me, I begin to cry; I drag myself across the floor; I scratch myself; I stop writing indefinitely; I lose my appetite; I smoke less; I engage in sport; I go for walks on the edge of the sea — which, by the way, is less than 30 meters from my house — and I ask the seagulls, whose ancestors ate the fish who ate Ulysses: Why me? Why? I’ve done you no harm.
Roberto Bolaño via nymag. I feel you, hombre.
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November 23, 2009
You know?

You know?

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November 22, 2009
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November 21, 2009
Secretly I am pretty afraid that I will never love anyone else the way I love Billy Gibbons. Taught me how to love, pt.3

Secretly I am pretty afraid that I will never love anyone else the way I love Billy Gibbons. Taught me how to love, pt.3

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November 19, 2009
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Isn't there anybody that loves me?

  • Ben Stone: You were shoveling snow.
  • Meredith Morton: I... What?
  • Ben Stone: You were just a little girl in a flannel night gown. And you were shoveling snow from the walk in front of our house. And I was the snow, I was the snow. And everywhere it landed and everywhere it covered. You scoop me up with a big red shovel. You scoop me up.
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November 18, 2009

I think it’s important that you watch this video of Vladamir Putin rapping at the “Battle for Respect: Start it Today” music concert. Because, as Vlad says, “Street rap may be a little bit rough, but it contains social meaning raising social problems.”

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true story: this is a photo of the first time noah and I met.

true story: this is a photo of the first time noah and I met.

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Once upon a time, Martha Stewart was wicked hot. And Giadas will come, and Giadas will go, but a beauty like this is timeless. She might be a little older, and she might have some crazy new horses that she keeps indoors because she doesn’t like their coats to turn red in the sun, but goddamnit she is made of ice and marzipan and she’s still a fox.

Once upon a time, Martha Stewart was wicked hot. And Giadas will come, and Giadas will go, but a beauty like this is timeless. She might be a little older, and she might have some crazy new horses that she keeps indoors because she doesn’t like their coats to turn red in the sun, but goddamnit she is made of ice and marzipan and she’s still a fox.

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November 17, 2009

molls:

While I was laying around acting cunty and probably writing mean things in my secret Word documents, Beyonce was stage diving in London.

Where were you when Beyonce was stage diving in London?

Honestly? I am surprised that she even needed people’s arms to hold her up because seriously have you ever in your LIFE seen a more likely person to be held aloft solely by the dreams and hopes of a crowd of people undulating along to her every melodic syllable?

THIS IS HOW YOU PUT ON A CONCERT, PEOPLE. HOW YOU PUT ON A CONCERT, AND HOW YOU MOVE MOUNTAINS.

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